M. Nole's Dream List

At the end of my therapy group this week, one member advised a member struggling with codependency to write a Dream List if she's tempted to e-mail or text the toxic man with whom she's involved.

I decided to write out my own list, and I thought it would be hard to come up with a neat and tidy list of even 10 dreams. I started writing, and within 3 minutes, I had gone past the number 30. I will be adding to this, but here is the beginning of M. Nole's offical Dream list.

1. Score well on the LSAT and be accepted into law school
2. Become a very good, ethical lawyer who helps people
3. Write a nonfiction Christian book
4. Get off of all pain medicine and be completely into AA again
5. Be active in Al-Anon again
6. Write a Christian novel
7. Have a popular spiritual blog
8. Devote myself to special Catholic prayers and especially to the Virgin Mary
9. Evolve into a saint
10. Make a pilgrimage to Lourdes or Rome
11. Be someone who does kind, spontaneous things for others
12. Make a charitable gift to honor someone special every month
13. Write a fiction novel
14. Create Catholic folk art
15. Learn to make rosaries
16. Join a good Protestant Bible study class
17. Go to Daily Mass
18. Have true contrition for all of my sins
19. Have my daughters when they become adults) feel like I was the best mother in the world
20. Be involved in a ministry (presently working for a ministry does not count)
21. Belong to a book club
22. Subscribe to an audio book service and listen to new books every month
23. Become a Facebook addict and play with my BFFs
24. Open a Christian art store in Midtown
25. Become a positive thinker
26. Become a humanitarian
27. Give generously to my church
28. Use my gift for spiritual writing to change lives, or even better, to save a life or a soul
29. Expand my for-profit resume business
30. Expand my resume ministry (free resumes to single parents and low-income clients)
31. Be on the board of a charity
32. Make enough money for my children to go to college wherever they can be accepted
33. Look like a million bucks well into my 40s and 50s
34. Lead others to the Catholic Church or to a belief in Jesus Christ
35. Infuse hope into other people with my ability to write fearlessly about my emotional and spiritual struggles
36. Resume my service work of intercessory prayer and pray for someone else's needs every single day
37. Realize when I'm 65 years old that I have lived a full, full life
38. Have every one of my friends to feel that I am the most faithful, supportive friend they have - because it's true
39. Make enough money to get manicures
40. Live in a small but adorable house
41. Take more creative writing classes
42. Write a screenplay for a movie about John Calipari

A Gift For Me

Yesterday I had a realization about the career move that I need to make. Off and on, since I graduated from college in 1997, I have regretted not going to law school. During this period of reflection at my parents' country house I have begun frequently thinking about my "missed opportunity" quite a bit. I have all the traits that good attorneys have; why did I think I wasn't smart enough to get into law school? I didn't even try. I bought one LSAT prep book at 22, thought the test looked hard (um...duh!) and gave up on the idea.

When I saw my psychologist on Tuesday, we were talking about my strengths, and she suddenly said, "You would make an excellent lawyer." I asked her about trying to start a new career in 4 years, when I'll be 40, and she said, "You'll be 40 anyway. Do you want to be 40 with a lucrative new career or 40 on a career path to nowhere?"

BOOM. I'm going for it. I'm going for it! I'm ordering LSAT practice books from Amazon tonight. Sometimes the wonderful Lord makes his will crystal clear, and this insight was like looking at the clearest, freshest spring water in the world.

God is telling me to apply to law school. God has given me something to look forward. Has God ever directed you toward a career in this way? I would love to hear about it if you have a story to share.

Please pray that if it's truly God's will for me to go to law school that I will be accepted. I only want what he wants, and this time, it's almost like he's holding out his hands with a gift for me to take at any moment.

I'm accepting it and saying thank you right now.